What's the saying?

Is it two steps forward, ten steps back?? Or 1 step forward, 2 steps back?? Or is that a Paula Abdul song?? Anyway, that's what I feel like today. And just in case you are reading this my darling daughter, Ali, yes....this is about you. Today Ali had a colonoscopy because she is still having all her stomach issues and now some other issues I will not mention as to not embarrass her but let's just say they are "issues" that required a colonoscopy. So this morning we had to be at CHOC (children's hospital of orange county) at 7:30am for the 9:30am procedure and we were there right on time. For those of you that have had this procedure done, they don't usually put you under anesthesia but in Ali's case they did, which we were soooo relieved. After she was asleep I waited in the waiting room for only about 25 minutes before the doctor came out to let me know that her colon looked good with the exception of one area that she biopsied and we should have the results in a few days. She also had some really great pics that she took which I will probably include in our Christmas card so look for that. :-) Then I was able to go into the recovery room with her where I talked to her a little until she woke up and then a nurse came to take her up to another room where they eventually discharged us. Overall it was a good experience. I know I didn't personally have it done but I think even Ali would agree that it wasn't nearly as bad as she was thinking it might be. It's times like these when I've been in the hospital with the kids...in February with Jack, in May with Ali.....that I think that one on one is really great. That might sound weird but when you have 4 kids, one on one is very hard to get. Ali and I go round and round more than any of my other kids which is why when we have moments like today when we talk without distraction and I feel that she really needs me, it makes coming home and having the drama begin even sadder. Tonight the twins and Doug made some yummy pork chops and everything was sooo great....until Ali made the mistake of texting something to Doug's phone that was intended for someone else and the text just happened to be about Doug. To say the least, it was not very nice and Doug was a little taken back by it so he text her back hoping to get some sort of response like a "sorry" or something.....nothing. To make a long story short, my daughter decided to lie about the incident and now her phone is no longer her's. Before the dust somewhat settled, Ali wanted to leave, she told me it was none of my business, and then Charlotte came over to try and smooth things over.....no comment. Now the reason I write all this is not to expose Ali for this horrible person because I think she is not too far off from most teens....but to explain why I feel like I am constantly taking 10 steps back for every 2 I take forward. I'm not going to lie to you, I hate this part of parenting. I hate the hormones that make my kids freakazoids at times, I hate not hearing everything that happened at a party or about every event in my teenagers lives anymore....Ryan is still at that stage where he will tell me every little detail about everything that happened at some friends house...to the point where I am wondering when he's going to shut up. Now that my older two have shut up, I am sad. Some days I feel like I am losing these precious kids that I met almost 14 years ago. And other days I feel like the connection is so strong I don't want to let go. I hate roller coasters. I know this too shall pass but will I go insane before it passes?
Anyway, I am exhausted. Jack is on a roller coaster of his own lately and not sleeping as well...possibly the 4 last teeth he's been cutting for over a month but who knows. Oh well, tomorrow's another day and I'm sure it won't disappoint. Goodnight.
FYI Ali is having another procedure done on Thursday called a Meckel's Scan...google it.