Ohio

Well, we made it home safely and are still trying to get used to the time change but overall the trip was a success. We layed Doug's mom to rest on Wednesday and then spent the rest of the time going through a houseful of everything. Berdie was definately a hoarder if I ever saw one! We spent day and night going through what seemed to be endless amounts of things from jewelry to old pictures to randomness. My sister in law Lori won the prize for best find...a donut in a jacket pocket still in tact...yuck! We were able to empty out all the perishables and donate all her clothing to the halfway house that she worked at. For as many days as we spent and 40 bags of trash later, we still have only scraped the surface. Doug and I will be flying back to finish up going through the house and hopefully make more headway this time around. We did meet with a lawyer that advised us about what we need to do with the estate and we also got to spend some much needed time with family that we had not seen in a long time. We also got a chance to visit the cemetary where Doug's grandparents are and his sister. In California you don't see too many cemetaries. The headstones at this place were amazing and beautiful!

Lori and Jack swimming

Jack and cousin Abigail

Berdie's funeral

Day Three....yippee! :-)

Today was a work day except I woke up with a post red wine headache/migraine that would not go away...even with the good drugs I took. We stopped by a few banks to switch around some funds and to pick up his mom's death certificates that we need for tomorrow morning's meeting with our estate lawyer. We then headed over to Doug's moms to dive into the 30+ years of stuff. Our goal was to go through as much stuff as possible and divide up what was to be kept and what was yard sale stuff. The only roadblock was that there is a person in his mom's will that gets first dibs at the "houselhold furnishings" (long story) so I couldn't really just start moving things around and make decisions other than things I found that I knew were Doug's or family things. I did manage to find some pretty cool things like Doug's marine picture from when I was like 6 and some great old pictures of his grandparents and him when he was very young. All in all we spent about 6 hours there and even though we went through alot, there was no where for it to go AND it doesn't look like we even made a dent. I'm starting to think we should have rented that Uhaul and drove here. Doug's sister was a blessing and met us at his moms and took Jack, Ryan, and Ali to the animal park and then back to our hotel to swim. We kept AJ to be our muscle man. :-) We also had a locksmith out to the house to change the locks and tomorrow we are meeting ADT at the house to put in a security system and then meet our lawyer downtown. Again, Doug's sis is meeting us to take the kids to the zoo.....amazing! Right now Doug is golfing with a friend and we are awaiting our pizza delivery. What an exhausting day but thank goodness my headache has finally left the building!

Day Two in Ohio

Today was Berdie's viewing. Like I said yesterday, I had no idea what to expect. The viewing was from 2-7 and we were their the whole time standing along side Doug's mom in her coffin receiving people's well wishes. I will admit, it was a little weird at first. I haven't seen Doug's mom in a year and a half and I've never seen an open casket. To my suprise, she looked better than she did when I last saw her. The funeral home obviously gave her a good makeover and she looked so peaceful. At first even Jack went up to her and said "night,night Grandma". It was so cute and made me a little emotional. Doug was in and out with his mood. One second he would be fine and cracking jokes about things he would remember about his mom and the next minute he would be knealing at her side crying. It was a roller coaster of emotions with person after person walking up with another story of how Berdie saved their life or Berdie was such a wonderful person and touched their life in some way. It was nice to hear but at the same time made me sad to know that as many lives as she touched, we always came second. We did not have the same stories to tell...stories of how Berdie saved our lives and how if it weren't for her we wouldn't be here. We were lucky to have seen her once a year if that and it was a special treat for her to remember our birthdays. Doug did not have the kind of relationship most people have with their mom. As I listened to each and every person say the wonderful things they would say about Berdie or tell a funny story about her, I thought to myself, I hope that when it's my turn to leave this world that people would have funny memories to tell and people would say how I touched their lives and how they wouldn't know what to do if I hadn't been there....and those people would be my kids.
So at the close of our 2nd full day in Ohio, we are sitting here in our hotel room watching tv and eating ice cream and getting ready for our big day tomorrow of going through Grandma's house and the kids going to the animal park with Aunt Lori.

Day One in Ohio

Today was a good starter day. Of course we didn't get started until about noon because we were in bed at 2am but we did good. Went to Bob Evans for brunch and then headed to Doug's moms to evaluate the situation. Doug's sister met us there and she is amazing! We were able to go through all of his moms jewelry and assess what was keepable and what was not. I found a few things here and there that I had given her and took along with some other momentos that I knew were important to keep in the family. The biggest find was Doug's train set in the basement! Overall a much bigger job than one trip will take care of but manageable. It's a great old house that I am hoping we can keep and fix up.
After an afternoon of that we headed back to our hotel with Doug's sister and her fam for some pizza and swimming. They are amazing people and I wish we lived closer to spend more time with them! (and I'm not just saying that because I know you are reading this Lori :-)
Tomorrow is the big event...the funeral. I'm hoping that it is not like a huge AA meeting with everyone announcing their name and then everyone saying "Hi ____". If so I'm taking a vote as to what my "made-up" addiction should be. I'm leaning toward stay at home mom that's on oxycotin. Or maybe just a huge obsessive compulsive cleaner and organizer? Oh wait, that IS me! :-)

Posting Hiatus

So, no pics...sorry! We've had a bit of a set back with our fam and so we are headed off to Cleveland, Ohio. On June 12th Doug's mom passed away from lung cancer...just 6 days after Doug brought her home from Manor Care. As sick as she was, one can truly never prepare for the passing of a parent and it has been very draining and especially emotional for Doug. Just two days prior I had booked our tickets to go on the 29th to visit for the 4th of July and have the kids spend some time with her before she passed, but God had other plans. So, being the mom I am and having realized long ago that nothing rarely goes as planned, I called Delta Airlines and tried to rearrange things. Delta Airlines sucks...parden my bluntness. They have no bareavment fares unless you have a relative that dies outside the US......what??? So, the punchline was that our flight per person ended up costing us $700! Needless to say I will never use Delta Airlines again. My husband is amazing! Since April he has been going back to Cleveland every couple weeks to visit with his mom and also to do some forward planning. As hard as it was for him, he planned her funeral and planned them to a "T" of what she wanted. I cannot imagine how difficult that was for him but he made sure almost every detail was taken care of and that his mom was as comfortable as possible until the end. Hospice is amazing!
So, for all you drama-lovers.....here's the bigger punchline...Doug's mom was a huge "AA" person...being sober for over 30 years, she helped others get back on track and was often referred to as "mom" by many. That is great as long as you are in the program but if you are not, you are an outsider and that's what Doug and I and his sister's family are. It's very sad because this group of people immediately began making dibs on her things....one woman even showed up just days after her passing with a truck and brought the police claiming that she was promised the entire contents of the house. We have no idea what we are going to find...or not find when we get there but we are leaving this morning and will be traveling all day. Sunday is her funeral which is a "viewing". My kids nor I have ever been to a funeral like this so this will be interesting. Then on Wednesday there will be a mass at the catholic church since his mom was catholic...again, never be to one but am curious. This trip is not a vacation but more a mission to get some things done and first and foremost to honor the memory of his mom. I am thankful that Doug's sister and her fam live close so we can visit with them and sorta break up the focus on why we are originally there and maybe have some fun. (I hope that didn't sound insensitive??) I will have my camera with me, of course, so check back for some pics of trees, not palm trees, houses that aren't stacked on top of eachother, and hopefully some fun pics of the cousins having fun and catching up! The last time we were in Cleveland as a family, Ryan was 4 and the twins were 10....wow! :-)

This week in pictures

A year-end band concert, scoring the winning goal to take home the Geno Cup, winning the first playoff bball game 17-9, and getting caught....this was our week!